The Coyote Exchange

I almost always include bits of the following lesson on purpose management when I speak to new hires – wanting to get them off to the right start with how to work in an environment that demands a lot – and is distracting at times.  I thought I’d share it again with you as we move into a New Year and new promises for ourself and our priorities!

 The best analogy for time management and how easy it can be- is to consider airline travel.  I do a lot of this – and if I’m not flying somewhere most people know I pick up the phone on the first couple of rings.  I often have two people on the line at one time – or I’m actually using two phones which must be annoying – and I vow not to do that this year by following my own advice here.

 Let’s say I’m flying to from Utah to Denver and I’m on my way out and somebody tries to stop me on my way out to my car to drive to the airport.  If somebody says, “You’ve got someone who’d like to talk to you for a minute, I say “Tell them I’m on my way out and I’ll call them when I get to Denver – I will call them later.”

 If someone else stops me at the door and says, “Could I ask you a question, I say, “No, I really can’t, I’m on my way to the airport, but I will talk to you when I get to Denver or on my return.  I’m looking forward to our conversation.”  Nothing stops me.  If I’m headed to my car and I’m going to the airport, nothing’s going to get in my way, and I don’t have any time management problems.  The reason I don’t is because I have a definite purpose!

 If I’m catching a plane and going to Denver today it was not hard at all to tell people no and everything fits into place.  I have no problems with procrastination, I have no time management problems, it was very easy.  If you could keep this in mind, it would eliminate some of your time management problems you have during the day.

 Because what really happens is this- people don’t have a central purpose, they don’t have anything really that they’re up to that excites them, so instead they just wake up and see ‘what other people want’ all day, and then they try to please those people.

 And when I live my life this way, the problem is that I’m saying ‘yes’ to everything.  People say, ‘can you do this, will you do that, I say’ Yeah – sure, I guess so, and I take every call and I answer every email and people pop their heads in and say ‘have you got a minute and I say ‘ Ok, yeah sure, why not?”

 By the end of the day, I look back and say, “Boy, I didn’t get anything done – I must need a new time management system.  Then I go to a class somewhere – get a few new one-liners and a computerized time management system -and it never works because I haven’t solved the central problem and the central problem is:  “I’m not up to anything.”

 There’s nothing that I wake up to do that has enough excitement in my life that has me easily saying, ‘no’.  So time management problems are really problems of boldness, a problem of purpose – a problem of selecting something that we are really up to that excites us and keeps us focused throughout the day.  If we did, imagine yourself saying to someone, “No, I won’t be able to do that today….but thanks for asking. Let’s schedule a time when we can do that – and agree to focus on that then.”

 This has a lot to do with my other favorite topic, managing agreements.  Time management is ‘classic’ – management agreement with yourself!  If you’re committed to something, you manage to make that happen, if you’re not – it gets managed out.  Making agreements with ourselves and others is very empowering, boosts self-esteem and self-respect.  It also garners respect from others.

 It is easy to say ‘no’ to something if you have said ‘yes’ to something else that is more important.  Think about this the next time someone tries to stop you in the office and you’re headed for your child’s dance recital, or your mother’s 70^th birthday party, or your significant other that you promised a night out starting with a movie and popcorn!

 So when we master time management, fearlessness is the solution!  Because when I fearlessly, ruthlessly, create my day and choose and select and decide what things I am going to focus on and get done today, then other people can find a way to use the rest of the time I have, based on whether I am ‘ok’ with letting them in.  Sometimes people think, ‘well, no one will like me if I am that way’- actually people like you more.

 One last thing – life is sometimes unpredictable and the ‘important thing of the day’ gets ousted for the person who needs you right now, right this minute.  If you decide to let that person into your ‘time management’ or purpose management system – then do that.  Do that one thing – give them every minute of your undivided attention.  Do not multi-task or otherwise question why you got nothing done today.  Know that you did the right thing, move on – and pick up your purpose management system from there.  Keep in mind, if you’re going to miss your plane doing it – it must have been important enough to fit it in.

 To a purposely wonderful New Year! 

Important Note:  As always I want to thank Steve Chandler: www.clubfearless.net

for his inspiring life lessons over the last dozen years!  Check him out for more of the same.

Filed under: Uncategorized on December 20th, 2009