The Coyote Exchange

Lewis-Mehl-Madrona, M.D. in his book, ‘Coyote Medicine’, Lessons from Native American Healing talks about ‘purpose’.  He suggests,  ‘that your purpose is whatever you say it is.’  In order to have purpose Mehl-Madrona believes, as I do, that you have to have an absolute reference point, a place where you can ‘leave from’ and find direction in exploring your purpose.

Marilyn Youngbird said ‘we can only be who we came into this physical life to be’.  When we don’t know who we are, fear, hatred, anger, jealousy and greed run rampant through our minds, our physical beings, and our spirits.

This was the thought shared by one of our friends during our Summer Solstice celebration in Northern California last night.  After we walked a makeshift labyrinth people shared their inspired thoughts.  Yvonna suggested that during this summer solstice we ‘remember who you are – remember every thought, action and footstep you create are your prayers.  Choose to be you – and no one else,  lose that one you think you should be , and be the one you are. ’ I thought that was perfect.

Choosing to be ‘you’ can be one of the most challenging things to do today-there are lots of pressures to be, or look like someone else these days – but the only powerful thing to be – is you-and your purpose.

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.  Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”

-Goethe

Filed under: Uncategorized on June 21st, 2009 | 2 Comments »

I’m reading a great book called,  ‘ Flow- the Psychology of Optimal Experience’.  It’s about a state of consciousness or concentration so focused that it amounts to absolute absorption in an activity.  Everyone experiences flow from time to time and recognizes it’s characteristics like feeling strong, alert, in effortless control, and at the peak of their abilities.

I like the book because it is not a ‘how to’ book with recipes for success or how to be happy because  ‘optimal experience’ depends on the abiolity to control what happens in consciousness moment by moment, based on an individuals effort and creativity.  How we feel about ourselves, the joy we get from living,  depends directly on how the mind filters and interprets everyday – or not so everyday – experiences.  Flow seems possible – within ordinary experiences, but what about when ‘chaos’ strikes?  The person who knows how to find flow from life is able to enjoy – and in some cases even lead a more fulfilling life- even in situations that seem to allow only despair.

Meet Amy Purdy (www.amypurdy.com).  I was fortunate enough to meet her in the airport in Reno and I’m telling you my life was changed by having met her!  This girl has flow!  Please read her story -  After losing both of her legs at a very young age to bacterial meningitis, most young ladies would wallow in their condition.  But this competitive, world-class snowboarder focused on what was very ‘clear’ for her – the unthinkable (once she stabilized to survive at all) was only that she wouldn’t compete at the highest levels of her sport again – not that she wouldn’t walk again!

Amy has taken a tragic event and turned it into a positive – we talked about her ‘extraordinary’ life as a result of what life dealt her – and she’s taking advantage of it by running a tremendous non-profit organization for others who want to participate in sports but need some help.  She’s also a model, an actress and a spokesperson for what once nearly took her life. And this week she’s in Africa giving out shoes to those children who need them with the support of  TOMS shoes.  What happened to Amy never took her spirit- Amy has clear goals – and to say she’s gone with the flow – is a complete understatement!  Fly high Amy – and continue to take others with you!

Filed under: Uncategorized on June 1st, 2009 | No Comments »

As I suspected the best part about putting something out on the internet is what you get back.  I’d like to thank James Gesualdi not only for your support of Coyote Greetings and sharing them with your law partners- but your appreciation for animal rights.  I quote here a bit from his website:

“James Gesualdi has spent the greater part of his nine years in law representing the rights of clients who often erupt into high-pitched squeals and clicks to show their appreciation. Mr. Gesualdi, who works for the law firm of Cahn Wishod & Lamb, L.L.P. in Melville, has represented numerous aquatic concerns, notably the Dolphin Research Center in Florida, which is home to Atlantic bottlenose dolphins. They first encountered Mr. Gesualdi in 1989.

A well-known figure in the field of marine mammal law, Mr. Gesualdi was a vice chairman of the American Bar Association Young Lawyers’ Division/Animal Protection Committee. In addition, he prepared an extensive report on the legal issues relating to the release of marine mammals to the wild.

Cheers to you James and the work you do for our beloved ‘animal’ friends!

Filed under: Uncategorized on May 19th, 2009 | No Comments »

Steve Chandler in one of his latest ‘Club Fearless’ postings quoted psychiatrist and best-selling author Judith Orloff in stating that ‘the current economic climate is sparking more anxiety and stress’ than she’s seen in 20 years of practice. 

 ”Our world is in the midst of an emotional meltdown, ” she said.  “This is a whole new form of depression coming on.  And it’s totally related to financial sources and insecurity, because everything we ever thought was secure is being taken away.”

She knows what many of us know, and that is only internal thoughts cause feelings – feelings of depression and anxiety.  She makes some good suggestions in taking ‘action’,  one day at a time, ‘avoiding catstrophizing the future’ and taking baby steps to reduce stress.  If you need to find a job, create your resume today.  If you’re behind on your bills, make small payments so you’re making progress in some fashion, if you need to reduce costs, downsize your house or your car.

There is a right-sizing going on  -and if we can take the time to look around and reinvent family dinners (instead of going out), walking to the store (instead of driving), buy an exercise ball (instead of paying for monthly gym costs) – we’ll find we have everything we need.  I know I have everything I need in family, children and granchildren and I count my blessings everyday!!

These are times that could be well spent in exploring the heart, mind, spirit and soul.  When the soul is empty, the cell becomes an empty shell.  What we’ve compromised in ‘uncontrolled growth’ of nearly everything is a ‘compromised spirit’ – which invites in illness, infection and depression.  Disease ensues when the psyche doubts.

Most of Coyote Greetings are photos of nature and Mother Earth.  I think it has something to do with groundedness, stability, rootedness, birth and death (seasonal changes).  Maybe trees are simply  ’home base’.  I remember playing kick-the-can and other fun outdoor games in front of my house in the 50’s….and it was always a tree that was ’safe’.  No one could touch you – you were protected- if  you were touching or hugging a tree! 

There is a place for nature in our lives, and the need to be in harmony with that has never been more important.  We’ve been out of balance with nature and the simple beauty of walking our dogs through the woods.  That’s free by the way. Our ancestors knew that nature was a constant surprise.  According to author and Ph.D. , Dr. Lewis Mehl-Madrona, M.D., Ph.D.  in his book,  Coyote Medicine, Lessons from Native American Healing,  “we can never know with certainty that which is possible and that which is impossible.  Our capacity to analyze and apprehend the world is so limited that our goal of “full knowledge” will never be realized”.

Find your reference point, your soul, find meaning in friendships and nature, and heal the world – by healing yourself.

Filed under: Uncategorized on May 3rd, 2009 | 3 Comments »

I was watching television today and everyone is getting into the ‘green’ movement.  Today marks the day, particularly if you’re a celebrity, to plant a tree.  It’s good publicity and it’s good for the environment.  It reminds me of a day as a young child that meant a lot to me – and means more to me today!

When I was in elementary school, on ‘Arbor Day’ they gave everyone a tree to plant.  It was free (I think) and I remember thinking, this isn’t a tree, it’s a crooked stick!  But with the excitement of a child I ran home and asked my father to help me plant it.  Well, that was easier said than done, and to make a long story short after many tears and weeks of begging my mother to intervene, my dad and I headed to the backyard to find a place for the tree.

Assuming and hoping it would die evidently, my dad planted it smack-dab in the middle of the yard, very close to the ‘clothesline’ (which turned out to be fortuitous), much too close to the house – and pronounced, “There are you happy now?”  You better water it because I’m not going to take care of it for you.”

Well, you can bet I watered it, I think I nearly ‘drowned’ it several times.  I’m sure I got blamed for a higher than normal water bill too – but it was my tree (and my dad’s tree).  It grew over the years – and was crooked – and so my dad had to tie it to the closeline to keep it straight and the rest, as they say is history, or is it?

Years later I married, had children, and we decided to buy our first home.  My father passed away when our son was just two months old, and I was bound and determined not to sell my parent’s home with that tree in the yard, so I got an estimate to move it.  Well we’re talking about a ‘huge’ tree now – it took up nearly the entire yard, dwarfed our neighbor’s yard, and to move it we would have to knock down the neighbor’s fence among other costly projects.

I left the tree, my mother sold the house, and when I go back home I often ’secretly’ drive by and look at ‘our tree’. Which brings me to my visit this past fall.  My best friend and next door neighbor still lives in town -and I asked her if she would be willing to do something a little crazy with me.  Of course, as best friends do, she said of course – where are we going?  I said, to the old neighborhood, there’s a tree I need to see.

So on the way there I started to explain my ‘mission’.  Over the years (now 40 years later) I have had an ‘attraction’ to a fragrance or scent that not a lot of people are drawn to.  It’s not rose, or lily or anything quite that common, but I cannot pass up a bar of  ‘linden’ soap or anything else with that fragrance in it.  I told my friend I had a hunch where this subconsciuous desire came from.  So before we got out of the car, and embarassed ourselves by knocking on a door of someone’s house who we did not know, and begin to explain why I brought ’shears’ and needed to get into their backyard, I thought I better tell her.  “I think it’s a Linden tree.”  What tree?  That tree- in my old backyard that my dad and I planted in 4th grade, I think it’s a Linden and I have to get a sample of it so I can buy one!”

She roared and said it sounded like a project designed for me (and now her too) and she was very eager to see what would happen.  I went around the house (now surrounded by a 15 foot tall fence) and leaned over my neighbor’s fence (the one I was going to take down exactly 29 years ago) and grabbed a leaf – put to my nose and said – that’s it!

So we finally went to the door hoping we wouldn’t find an ax-murderer who lived there and I started to tell him my story.  But before I did, I simply asked…..”do you have any idea what kind of tree you have planted in your back yard?”  Of course, he said “It’s a Linden tree – why?”  I thought my friend was going to pass out and I remember putting my head in my hands and sobbed.

He was a lovely man, loved the story, let me into the backyard, I cut my ’samples’ and headed back to California from Illinois in search of my Linden tree - a fond everyday reminder of my dad – and what he did for me that Arbor Day.

There are no accidents, no coincidences, my children have heard me say that often.  There are also no ‘wrong turns’ or ‘too crazy ideas’ in order to find the source of longing and love and guidance and memories in your life.  You have to take the time to ’smell the roses’ – or the Linden flowers in my case.  When you find yourself on a path or going in a direction that wasn’t the way you intended – don’t just turn around and head down the path you thought you should take.  Look around, take inventory -and figure out why you ended up there.  It will always take you home.

Filed under: Uncategorized on April 22nd, 2009 | 5 Comments »

Native American Ruth McLeod reports that she has never mentioned the Easter Bunny to her young kids.  Instead, she tells them about the Easter Coyote, the fun-loving, mischief-making spirit of  Spring whose job it is to hide goodies and play tricks, thereby lightening people’s moods and getting them to take themselves less seriously.

Shed the heaviness left over from Winter and welcome the amusing interruptions that will tweak your perspective this Spring in ways that make you smarter, lighter - and happier!

Filed under: Uncategorized on April 12th, 2009 | No Comments »

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it.  Boldness has genius, power, and magic.”  Goethe

As my friend and mentor, Steve Chandler has often pleaded…”whatever it is, begin it.  Just begin.  Don’t think about doing the whole thing.  You don’t have to do the whole thing.  You never have to do the whole thing.  Just begin. ”

 The very thought of the whole project is overwhelming, and most people soon decide they can’t start this now.   The easy analogy for this is losing weight, or otherwise deciding you will ‘now’ get healthy.  If I thought I was going to lose 15 pounds by just thinking about it, or that it will happen in one week and one workout in the gym, I’m in trouble.

But if I don’t go to the gym, and I don’t start right ‘now’ making wise choices about what to eat, I’m still in trouble.  It was the same thing with launching Coyote Greetings.  Some folks have had my cards for at least a year.  My sister Rita has sold them out 3 times in her salon/spa in the Chicago area, and my other dear sister Joyce has given them out freely to friends, organizations and retail stores.  And yet I was afraid to dream….and to just begin it online!

In an interesting article by Mary J. Lore, ‘How Do Your Thoughts Rule Your World?’, Lore recalls the first sayings of the Buddha, “We are what we think.  All that we are arises from our thoughts.  With our thoughts we make the world.”

Now just in case you think I’m going down some rosy, pop-pscyhology path, her article was in the November 2008 issue of  Macrobiotics Today.  Everything we say, do and create first begins in thought.  We first have ideas, then desires, intentions, goals, plans and strategies….all thoughts….until we finally take action and do it!

Your thoughts can inspire you, or they can stop you -plagued with self-doubt, fear, and worry.  So if I pay ‘attention’ to my thoughts – won’t that be enough?  No, not exactly.  As Chandler often says, the problem we have is not ‘attention deficit disorder’, but ‘intention deficit disorder’.

We have the best intentions – but we don’t ‘begin’ them!  Ms. Lore goes on to make an interesting point particularly in today’s economic fallout.  “We achieve significant results when we focus and act in the moment.  The future is an illusion.  We do not suddenly become bankrupt, we have a series of bankrupt ‘now’ moments – no more than we become a great parent, a great leader or a healthy person.  We develop a series of ‘now’….begin now…moments that get us to the finish line of something we’re proud (or not so proud of).

Achieve a critical mass of ‘now’ moments….begin ‘it’ today – whatever it is.

‘Dream On’.

Filed under: Uncategorized on April 7th, 2009 | 1 Comment »

 My name is Debra, and I am the creator of Coyote Greetings. Along with good friends,  mentors, and patient designers – I have launched my  inspirational line of greeting cards. I am a new artist and am currently pursuing my Ph.D. in Industrial Organizational Psychology – so at times the blog will be reflective of reading  I’m doing from some of the great philosophers and psychologists of our time – and sometimes I’ll just share ‘stories’ that happened in the past, that are happening now, and thoughts for the future.

Other entries will be from the work I’ve done with friend, mentor and author, Steve Chandler (www.stevechandler.com) who I owe a tremendous thank you – for supporting me and the launch of Coyote Greetings for years now!  I hope you’ll get comfortable adding your thoughts to this blog regularly!  Here is my first wish for you.

When I dream,  I dream of peace- a personal peace, stillness in a place of solitude, surrender to true self, and a ‘howl’ out to the universe that says ‘thank you’ for all I have, all that I have created, and all that I have left to create.

A peace that’s like the shore – sure that the waves will move in and out with the tide, taking with it all that’s no longer necessary, and leaving behind all that is needed. A peace that liberates you from the tyranny of thoughts that include envy, greed, guilt, and intolerance.  Knowing that love – true and unconditional – will conquer all.

A peace that recognizes that nothing is more liberating than becoming the author of one’s destiny. A peace that comes from knowing that you are not alone – and that friendship and a helping hand are right around the corner if you’re willing to ask.  A peace that recognizes that being alone with ‘you’ is bliss -but that loneliness does not serve us well.

A peace that comes from knowing that your intuition can be trusted and that decisions made from the heart will flow faster from a place that is open not closed.

Dream in Peace!

Filed under: Uncategorized on March 28th, 2009 | 5 Comments »